Spring Break
Pirate Rants
The Pirate Nation
Issue date: 11/5/09 Section: Opinion
I could hear the girl that lives above me having sex at 3 am. It was rhythmically off beat and lasted for three minutes. I feel sorry for her.
To the couple in my 2 p.m. Short Story class: Why do y'all write notes to one another during class? We are not in high school anymore. Grow up!
A request for all the girls: please tape your phone conversations with your friends, listen to how many times you say the word "like", and then please seriously think about expanding your vocabulary.
I can tell by your light-up stripper heels that you have impeccable taste.
It amazes me how I can send and spell text messages correctly when I am blackout drunk.
How come the one person I wanted to only make out with on Halloween night makes it a big deal and starts talking about his relationship that he just got out of....just shut up and kiss me!
Why is it every time I see you on campus I always look like I just rolled out of a ditch, shot up some heroin, and haven't slept in 3 days? It isn't fair.
Am I the only person that absolutely despises the word "uber"?
I texted my ex-boyfriend while I was severely intoxicated Halloween Night...worst idea of my life.
To the girl in my Stats class that I always catch glimpsing at me: I want to ask you "to study," but I would feel awkward if things didn't work.
Q: How much do pirates pay to get their ears pierced? A: A Buck-an-ear.
There's this kid in my anthropology class that looks EXACTLY like the little boy in Jumanji... after he turns into the monkey.
Please let me know if you have a girlfriend. I hate finding out via Facebook. It just makes you look like a flirting jerk.
My favorite thing about going to the gym...watching all the guys looking at themselves in the mirror, lifting weights. Thanks for making me laugh everyday.
Did major car manufacturers start making the turn-signal an optional add-on for cars in this town? I've seen better driving from 8-year-olds in Power Wheels.
To the couple in my 2 p.m. Short Story class: Why do y'all write notes to one another during class? We are not in high school anymore. Grow up!
A request for all the girls: please tape your phone conversations with your friends, listen to how many times you say the word "like", and then please seriously think about expanding your vocabulary.
I can tell by your light-up stripper heels that you have impeccable taste.
It amazes me how I can send and spell text messages correctly when I am blackout drunk.
How come the one person I wanted to only make out with on Halloween night makes it a big deal and starts talking about his relationship that he just got out of....just shut up and kiss me!
Why is it every time I see you on campus I always look like I just rolled out of a ditch, shot up some heroin, and haven't slept in 3 days? It isn't fair.
Am I the only person that absolutely despises the word "uber"?
I texted my ex-boyfriend while I was severely intoxicated Halloween Night...worst idea of my life.
To the girl in my Stats class that I always catch glimpsing at me: I want to ask you "to study," but I would feel awkward if things didn't work.
Q: How much do pirates pay to get their ears pierced? A: A Buck-an-ear.
There's this kid in my anthropology class that looks EXACTLY like the little boy in Jumanji... after he turns into the monkey.
Please let me know if you have a girlfriend. I hate finding out via Facebook. It just makes you look like a flirting jerk.
My favorite thing about going to the gym...watching all the guys looking at themselves in the mirror, lifting weights. Thanks for making me laugh everyday.
Did major car manufacturers start making the turn-signal an optional add-on for cars in this town? I've seen better driving from 8-year-olds in Power Wheels.
Viewing Comments 1 - 1 of 2
Alumni Pete
posted 11/06/09 @ 4:35 PM EST
One stomach flu away from your goal weight? That's so disturbing.
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