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Pirate Rants

Pirate Nation

Issue date: 6/10/09 Section: Opinion
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Is it bad that I've stopped fantasizing about my boyfriend, and started fantasizing about different ways to get rid of my boss? I can't stand him…



Its been almost a year and you're still trying to hook up with my old friends to make me jealous. Get over it…I was never that into you anyway.



Both of you removed my best friend & me off of Facebook -- Okay, you win! You really showed us, huh?...Sure!



So I just sharted, and it was the single most horrifying experience in my life!



All I can say is you better be thanking your lucky stars you got out of Aycock when you did. If I would have seen your skanky, overly tan butt before you left for summer break I would have beat you all the way back to PA!



You want a girl who likes hockey, shotgunning beers, and lacks both manners and basic "house training." Sorry, you're right, I'm not the girl for you. Good luck keeping the frat house pee free next year!



I would totally skin Kristen Stewart alive with NO remorse if it meant I got to touch R Patz or Taylor Launter.



I've spent my summer watching Spongebob and talking to a block of cheddar cheese. When does class start again?



We can stay up late, swap manly stories, and in the morning, I'm makin WAFFLES!



I just put my pizza in the toaster but turned on the microwave. When the microwave beeped, I opened it to find it empty, then ran around the house panicking and looking for my pizza. It was in the toaster. I'm an idiot.



Why do professors always ask "What did you think about the test?" and then get pissed off when you tell them?



Thank God that Orientation is beginning. Now the dining halls will make real food.



I like to think that tow truck drivers are professional a**holes.



As I get older, marriage looks less and less appealing.



The Paramore/No Doubt concert was AMAZING!!!!!!



Let you go? Hahahahaha! That's the funniest thing I've heard in a long time. You see, I don't hold onto crap and last time I checked, you are a pretty big piece.



Dear professor, you are boring and cruel. This is summer. Chillax a bit!
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