Spring Break
Pirate Rants
The Pirate Nation
Issue date: 4/16/09 Section: Opinion
To the hot new security guard in Joyner Library: Oh, what I would do to you in one of those private study rooms…
Every time I see a skateboarder, I want to see a face-plant.
You sit in the back right of our math class, I sit in the back left. Let's meet in the middle and combine our like terms.
I love when the bus drivers run the yellow/red lights!
I need an extra couple weeks to finish all the work I have for this semester.
ECU stands for Everyone Carries Umbrellas. Go away RAIN!
So, yeah … we slept together and I accidentally sent you a text that was meant for my best friend talking about you, but it really wasn't that bad. Is it really necessary to stop talking to me?
Nobody cares about your opinion on Shakespeare. Shut up!
I'm a girl myself, so I'm not holding the door for you to walk through. I'm just trying to be nice and hold it for you to grab. Rude!
Why have a girlfriend when you cheat on her with me anyway?
The captain is safe, three pirates dead, one captured. You mess with American ships, we will kill you. Thanks for playing!
No matter how hard you try, people will always hate you for the dumbest reasons.
College: Where you go to your 8 a.m. because you can't afford any more absences, but skip your 9 a.m. to go to breakfast.
I was walking back to class today and overheard a girl ask her friend if it was going to start getting darker earlier. Where have you been the past month?
I was a really motivated person until I came to college.
I would be done by now if I had been writing my 15-page paper instead of writing and reading Pirate Rants.
If your friend said you're his "own personal brand of heroin," then he's just a tool quoting "Twilight."
Anyone else feel like Facebook has just become a competition to see who can put the most crap on their profile and homepage?
No, officer, I wasn't drunk. I can never walk properly on level surfaces.
Every time I see a skateboarder, I want to see a face-plant.
You sit in the back right of our math class, I sit in the back left. Let's meet in the middle and combine our like terms.
I love when the bus drivers run the yellow/red lights!
I need an extra couple weeks to finish all the work I have for this semester.
ECU stands for Everyone Carries Umbrellas. Go away RAIN!
So, yeah … we slept together and I accidentally sent you a text that was meant for my best friend talking about you, but it really wasn't that bad. Is it really necessary to stop talking to me?
Nobody cares about your opinion on Shakespeare. Shut up!
I'm a girl myself, so I'm not holding the door for you to walk through. I'm just trying to be nice and hold it for you to grab. Rude!
Why have a girlfriend when you cheat on her with me anyway?
The captain is safe, three pirates dead, one captured. You mess with American ships, we will kill you. Thanks for playing!
No matter how hard you try, people will always hate you for the dumbest reasons.
College: Where you go to your 8 a.m. because you can't afford any more absences, but skip your 9 a.m. to go to breakfast.
I was walking back to class today and overheard a girl ask her friend if it was going to start getting darker earlier. Where have you been the past month?
I was a really motivated person until I came to college.
I would be done by now if I had been writing my 15-page paper instead of writing and reading Pirate Rants.
If your friend said you're his "own personal brand of heroin," then he's just a tool quoting "Twilight."
Anyone else feel like Facebook has just become a competition to see who can put the most crap on their profile and homepage?
No, officer, I wasn't drunk. I can never walk properly on level surfaces.
Viewing Comments 1 - 6 of 8
let's be original
posted 4/15/09 @ 11:26 PM EST
Be original people and stop quoting fmylife.com. For example:
"Today, I took one of those IQ tests on the Internet. I cheated and still got a 70."
Jolly Roger
Roger
posted 4/16/09 @ 8:31 AM EST
"The captain is safe, three pirates dead, one captured. You mess with American ships, we will kill you. Thanks for playing!"
we should go have a drink
Courtney Sherwood
posted 4/16/09 @ 3:32 PM EST
Everytime I sit on the toilet in Tyler Hall, I look down and see the name Blake on the drain and I think of Blake Jones. God he's so freakin sexy!
Amber cole
posted 4/20/09 @ 1:43 PM EST
Happy 21st Birthday Mister Stevie P. McG. hope its the best one ever!!
Hope Carter
posted 4/20/09 @ 1:49 PM EST
HAPPY Birthday Barney!!! I love you! ~Baby Bop
Kelsea
posted 4/20/09 @ 6:33 PM EST
To the creepy Mexican librarian, QUIT STARING AND DO YOUR JOB. Seriously!
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