Spring Break
Pirate Rants
The Pirate Nation
Issue date: 4/2/09 Section: Opinion
To Katie, the birthday girl: I hope you got the happy birthday wish that was written everywhere in chalk.
It has come to my attention that once you have drunken sex with your boyfriend while your roommate is "sleeping," things can never go back to normal.
Sometimes, when I'm sitting in my astronomy class, I daydream about being a character in "Sailor Moon." I hope my girlfriend never finds out.
I try to go to the library to get work done but this is now the third time someone decides to have a full phone conversation in Chinese in the next desk over.
Today I was in the gym working out. A grandma walked in ... she didn't have a bra on. Gravity had really taken its toll. Ewww!
If you were a printmaker, you would see Scott Avett. He still comes here and prints.
Help the Pirates fight cancer: Go to Relay For Life this weekend. Stimulate something besides your livers on Friday night!
I don't know what your momma taught you, but my momma taught me to never get in a car with a stranger.
I have to write an essay on the finer things in life. Can I interview you?
When I think about how you used me ... and your girlfriend breaking up with you, I secretly laugh to myself each time I see you. You deserve it!
Why do my friends come to me with their dating problems? I'm single, so obviously I can't keep a man!
I don't know what's worse, seriously contemplating bringing a six-pack to get through class or knowing I would finish it before the 50 minutes was up.
Aren't a drunk man's words a sober man's thoughts? So stop saying you don't remember what you said when I'm all you think about.
Clearly, the workers at Subway never learned what "a little mustard" meant ... I could fill an entire French's bottle with the mustard on my sub.
I was in the middle of making out and the guy stops and goes, "Do you think our pheromones go well together?"
The class average on tests in all my classes is failing ... is it the students? Or are the professors at ECU that bad?
It has come to my attention that once you have drunken sex with your boyfriend while your roommate is "sleeping," things can never go back to normal.
Sometimes, when I'm sitting in my astronomy class, I daydream about being a character in "Sailor Moon." I hope my girlfriend never finds out.
I try to go to the library to get work done but this is now the third time someone decides to have a full phone conversation in Chinese in the next desk over.
Today I was in the gym working out. A grandma walked in ... she didn't have a bra on. Gravity had really taken its toll. Ewww!
If you were a printmaker, you would see Scott Avett. He still comes here and prints.
Help the Pirates fight cancer: Go to Relay For Life this weekend. Stimulate something besides your livers on Friday night!
I don't know what your momma taught you, but my momma taught me to never get in a car with a stranger.
I have to write an essay on the finer things in life. Can I interview you?
When I think about how you used me ... and your girlfriend breaking up with you, I secretly laugh to myself each time I see you. You deserve it!
Why do my friends come to me with their dating problems? I'm single, so obviously I can't keep a man!
I don't know what's worse, seriously contemplating bringing a six-pack to get through class or knowing I would finish it before the 50 minutes was up.
Aren't a drunk man's words a sober man's thoughts? So stop saying you don't remember what you said when I'm all you think about.
Clearly, the workers at Subway never learned what "a little mustard" meant ... I could fill an entire French's bottle with the mustard on my sub.
I was in the middle of making out and the guy stops and goes, "Do you think our pheromones go well together?"
The class average on tests in all my classes is failing ... is it the students? Or are the professors at ECU that bad?
Viewing Comments 1 - 5 of 6
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posted 4/02/09 @ 6:24 PM EST
I find it strange that it is 6 25pm on Thursday and no one has commented today's rants yet
Mark
posted 4/02/09 @ 11:38 PM EST
I now call my piggy bank, "Obama," because that is the only CHANGE that man will ever represent...
Jenna Hinnant
posted 4/03/09 @ 10:39 AM EST
I have a BS and a Masters in Elementary edu. and yet I still can not find a teaching JOB! ECU, can I have the last 5 1/2 years of my life back? Thanks. (Continued…)
J
posted 4/03/09 @ 3:17 PM EST
It sounds like you should have picked a major that was a little higher in demand in the job market. Damn. Thank God for Construction Management. I will have a job until I retire no matter how bad the economy gets. (Continued…)
Charles
posted 11/20/09 @ 10:51 AM EST
Wednesay ,2:00. Bus stop. Blonde with the Crazy not stupid shirt.I think I love you
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