Spring Break
Eeny meeny miny moe
Choosing a roommate can be harder than you think
Stephanie Fu
Issue date: 3/31/09 Section: Opinion
Spring semester is the season for choosing a new place to live, and perhaps, new roommates. For some, this can be exciting if it's their first time living off campus -- true freedom. They are free from RA's, dorm rules and the roommate they've had all year.
It can also be annoying. Roommate-picking season can turn into the battle of best friends.
A good match for a roommate would be one with similar living patterns and sleep schedules. As some have experienced first hand, if one is a night owl, they won't get along well with an early morning riser. The same applies to hygiene. If one roommate is obsessive compulsive about cleaning, she won't be able to deal well with the roommate who piles her dishes by the sink for a week at a time before giving in to washing the mold off.
Even with all these perfectly logical issues to think about, people have forgotten about them and picking a roommate has become a competition of who is a better friend with whom.
Riding the bus to my apartment, I overheard a conversation a girl was having on her cell. She was angry and really loud, so I heard every complaint that she had of her noisy, messy and inconsiderate roommate. This relationship is unfortunately, a very common one -- two friends seem to forget their friendship because of little issues in their living situation. Psychologists Jennifer Crocker and Amy Canevello researched the behaviors of first-year college students who room with a random roommate in the September issue of Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. Even though their research was done on roommates that did not previously know each other, I think that their theories apply to those who are friends before they move in together. Crocker and Canevello have developed two different attitudes toward relationships - one that focuses on which person dominates the relationship, and another that focuses on the caring, compassionate side of a roommate relationship.
When two friends are thrown into a completely different atmosphere like living together, certain elements like personal preference of television shows, living habits or cleaning routines can get in the way of an otherwise good and perfectly functioning friendship. They can then become very "ego-systematic" toward their roommate and feelings get hurt because of the constant companionship within their apartment or house.
The problematic part of this issue is when confrontations emerge between the two roommates. It seems that when someone hears, "I think I'm going to live with _____ instead next year," they hear, "I don't want to be your friend anymore."
The whole thing sounds extremely juvenile; however, the truth is that many go through this same situation, gossip girls or jocks. Unfortunately, hurting someone's feelings may be the smaller cost when compared to another year of annoyances building up, which eventually drives a friend away.
The ultimate hope is that the friend will eventually get over it and realize on their own that the other person drove them crazy living in the same apartment, too!
This writer can be contacted at opinion@theeastcarolinian.com.
It can also be annoying. Roommate-picking season can turn into the battle of best friends.
A good match for a roommate would be one with similar living patterns and sleep schedules. As some have experienced first hand, if one is a night owl, they won't get along well with an early morning riser. The same applies to hygiene. If one roommate is obsessive compulsive about cleaning, she won't be able to deal well with the roommate who piles her dishes by the sink for a week at a time before giving in to washing the mold off.
Even with all these perfectly logical issues to think about, people have forgotten about them and picking a roommate has become a competition of who is a better friend with whom.
Riding the bus to my apartment, I overheard a conversation a girl was having on her cell. She was angry and really loud, so I heard every complaint that she had of her noisy, messy and inconsiderate roommate. This relationship is unfortunately, a very common one -- two friends seem to forget their friendship because of little issues in their living situation. Psychologists Jennifer Crocker and Amy Canevello researched the behaviors of first-year college students who room with a random roommate in the September issue of Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. Even though their research was done on roommates that did not previously know each other, I think that their theories apply to those who are friends before they move in together. Crocker and Canevello have developed two different attitudes toward relationships - one that focuses on which person dominates the relationship, and another that focuses on the caring, compassionate side of a roommate relationship.
When two friends are thrown into a completely different atmosphere like living together, certain elements like personal preference of television shows, living habits or cleaning routines can get in the way of an otherwise good and perfectly functioning friendship. They can then become very "ego-systematic" toward their roommate and feelings get hurt because of the constant companionship within their apartment or house.
The problematic part of this issue is when confrontations emerge between the two roommates. It seems that when someone hears, "I think I'm going to live with _____ instead next year," they hear, "I don't want to be your friend anymore."
The whole thing sounds extremely juvenile; however, the truth is that many go through this same situation, gossip girls or jocks. Unfortunately, hurting someone's feelings may be the smaller cost when compared to another year of annoyances building up, which eventually drives a friend away.
The ultimate hope is that the friend will eventually get over it and realize on their own that the other person drove them crazy living in the same apartment, too!
This writer can be contacted at opinion@theeastcarolinian.com.
Viewing Comments 1 - 2 of 2
roommatefindersdotnet
posted 4/03/09 @ 3:22 AM EST
Roommate finders provides guaranteed service until placement or for up to one year, whichever comes first. Your membership includes an over-the-phone interview, roommate screening, counseling, and much, much more. (Continued…)
Susieroom
roommatefindersdotnet
posted 4/03/09 @ 3:28 AM EST
Roommate finders provides guaranteed service until placement or for up to one year, whichever comes first. Your membership includes an over-the-phone interview, roommate screening, counseling, and much, much more. (Continued…)
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