Spring Break
Comedian reveals dating mishaps in bestselling book
Katie Taylor
Issue date: 3/3/09 Section: Features
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A must-read, this recent national bestseller contains true stories of men who have loved, lost and learned a few things from their former relationships with women.
It opens with a forward by Karlin's mother, Barbara Karlin, called "I Think My Son is a Catch." This compilation is divided into short chapters and illustrations called "Lessons." After the lessons is a comedic closing essay called "Notes Toward a Unified Theory of Dumping," by Sam Lipsyte (writer for "The New York Times Book Review" and "Playboy.")
"Lesson #5: The Heart Is a Choking Hazard" by Stephen Colbert ("Colbert Report") is a story about a memory Colbert has of an old flame. Most of the revealing parts of the story, such as his ex-girlfriend's name and what she and Colbert did together, is blacked out and censored. Colbert explains at the beginning that the story was edited by his wife.
"Lesson #15: Nine Years Is the Exact Right Amount of Time to Be in a Bad Relationship" by Bob Odenkirk (writer for "Saturday Night Live" and "The Ben Stiller Show") is written in the form of a relationship seminar. Odenkirk speaks to his audience by breaking down a relationship theory year by year. The best year is "Year One" and the relationship grows progressively worse, according to Odenkirk. "Year Nine: The Watershed," Odenkirk writes. "You can go to therapy now. Together and apart."
"Lesson #3: Beware of Math Tutors on Motorcycles" by Will Forte ("Beerfest" and "SNL" actor) is about Forte during his fraternity years. In this story, Forte gets dumped by his college sweetheart for -- you guessed it -- her motorcycling math tutor.
Two more stories that will appeal to the college crowd include:
"Lesson #4: Persistence Is For Suckers" by David Wain (director of "The Ten"), about getting dumped via cell phone.
"Lesson 1: Sex is the Most Stressful Thing in the History of the Universe" by Dan Vebber (writer for "Daria" and "Futurama"), chronicles the awkward long-distance relationship of two college students.
Other notable authors in the book include Andy Richter ("Late Night with Conan O'Brien") and Patton Oswalt (comedian).
This book is for both women and men. Men can probably relate to some of the stories and women can also gain some insight from the men who wrote them.
"This is a collection," said Bryan L. Hutchison, author of "One Boy's Struggle: Surviving with Undiagnosed ADD." "Some for you, some for me and some for others, but thankfully they were all for me. I love it!"
"I found each story to carry its own individual stamp," said Paige Lowvitt, writer for "Reader Views." "This made it more enjoyable for me to read. Each person had their own story to tell."
Perfect for the busy college student and others with precious little time for leisure reading, "Things I've Learned From Women Who've Dumped Me" is an easy, quick read that is entertaining and bittersweet.
The writer can be contacted at features@theeastcarolinian.com.
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