East Carolinian

Issue date: 2/17/09 Section: News

Media Credit: Travis Bartlett

The Student Government Association along with The Student Activities Board presented the Success for Life Workshop, "An Evening with the Dating Doctor" Thursday evening in Hendrix Theater.

Guest speaker Stephen Gray, the Director of Parent & Student Services, engaged students in an educational and entertaining presentation about dating and relationships.

"A lot of these students are in the same boat relationally," Gray said.

Gray kicked off the event by asking the audience to write down a question about dating, relationships, romance, sex and men or women to which they would like an honest answer.

After taking questions, Gray dove right in and told the audience to be the "fat penguin" and break the ice when meeting new people.

"People seldom remember who broke the ice, they're just happy to be standing in the puddle," Gray said.

Next, Gray suggested subtle ways to tell if the opposite sex is interested in you.

According to Gray, he might be interested in you if he is not deterred by any of your "barriers," he can't use weak "player" tactics on you, he turns to "mush brains," he works in the line "your boyfriend is so lucky" and he uses the three eye contact method on you and keeps you in his sights.

She might be interested in you if she maintains eye contact, stays in your presence, smiles and laughs, breaks the touch barrier, tests the "future" and gives non-romantic basic contact information.

Gray then went on to explain the reality of long distance relationships.

According to Gray, 50 percent of long distance relationships fail in the first month and 90 percent fail within four years. A few of the reasons mentioned as to why these relationships fail were that people force communication every day, humans crave physical affection, people grow apart and then become good at being apart and reunions are passionate and separations are emotional.

Gray then discussed five stages of a relationship and the five characteristics of a healthy relationship.

Infatuation comes first, followed by discovery, reality, decision and commitment. To maintain a healthy relationship Gray stated that a relationship needs trust, respect, intimacy, passion and commitment.

The event ended with the "five minute frenzy," an activity where Gray asked the women in the audience what men at ECU could stop or start doing to treat them better as women. Audience members were able to raise their hand and share their opinion with the crowd and after the women answered, the men were asked the same question.

"ECU is a great school, but there's things that can happen on a college campus that students need to be aware of," Gray said.

Overall, students seemed to enjoy the "Dating Doctor."

"I thought the presentation did a good job of putting relationships out there in a funny way," said Jennifer Garner, sophomore communication major.



This writer can be contacted at news@theeastcarolinian.com.

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