Spring Break
Pirate Rants
Pirate Nation
Issue date: 2/12/09 Section: Opinion
Classes are to me as Roger Klotz was to Doug Funny.
To the guy in Jones who used up four washers for one basket of laundry on Sunday: I let the door shut on you on purpose, jerk.
To the guy I saw "Taken" with this weekend: Was that a date?
For V-day, I don't want chocolate, roses or even a boyfriend. I would just like to get slammed up against a wall. Heyo!
I follow girls with nice behinds to class every day! It keeps me motivated to actually GO to class!
To the guy with the video games: I'll be your girlfriend and we can system link our systems.
This is one hell of a way to study ... pass me another beer PLEASE.
I find myself searching for answers to all of life's questions by ripping my bong of knowledge... by the 420th session of contemplation, satisfaction guaranteed!
Next time you think your precious Coach bag (that is probably fake anyway) deserves its own seat on the bus, I am going to punt it out the window.
Dear girl on the NCC bus, why do you insist on drinking Slim Fast every single morning? You weigh like five pounds. That can looks really unhealthy in your hand.
To the girl who's only with her boyfriend until she can find someone better: Your boyfriend knows and he's cheating on you.
They gave out free hugs and free condoms today. What more could I want?
To the guy that takes me out every week and told me the other day that you think you like me and can tell I like you: I don't. I already have a boyfriend; I just like the free food and drinks, not you. Thanks!
Dear Bojangle's, I love the heart shaped biscuits for Valentine's Day. Best holiday idea EVER!
Sorry for all the glances in marketing -- you're just so hot!
Freud had it right. Girls have penis envy. They want my penis.
Samuel Jackson. It'll get ya DRUNK!
What kind of pants do the Mario Brothers wear? Denim, denim, denim.
I love when I stop and talk to girls in the weight room and their boyfriend comes out of nowhere to stand beside them. It does boost my self-esteem a little but I would rather talk to one that is single for a change.
To the guy in Jones who used up four washers for one basket of laundry on Sunday: I let the door shut on you on purpose, jerk.
To the guy I saw "Taken" with this weekend: Was that a date?
For V-day, I don't want chocolate, roses or even a boyfriend. I would just like to get slammed up against a wall. Heyo!
I follow girls with nice behinds to class every day! It keeps me motivated to actually GO to class!
To the guy with the video games: I'll be your girlfriend and we can system link our systems.
This is one hell of a way to study ... pass me another beer PLEASE.
I find myself searching for answers to all of life's questions by ripping my bong of knowledge... by the 420th session of contemplation, satisfaction guaranteed!
Next time you think your precious Coach bag (that is probably fake anyway) deserves its own seat on the bus, I am going to punt it out the window.
Dear girl on the NCC bus, why do you insist on drinking Slim Fast every single morning? You weigh like five pounds. That can looks really unhealthy in your hand.
To the girl who's only with her boyfriend until she can find someone better: Your boyfriend knows and he's cheating on you.
They gave out free hugs and free condoms today. What more could I want?
To the guy that takes me out every week and told me the other day that you think you like me and can tell I like you: I don't. I already have a boyfriend; I just like the free food and drinks, not you. Thanks!
Dear Bojangle's, I love the heart shaped biscuits for Valentine's Day. Best holiday idea EVER!
Sorry for all the glances in marketing -- you're just so hot!
Freud had it right. Girls have penis envy. They want my penis.
Samuel Jackson. It'll get ya DRUNK!
What kind of pants do the Mario Brothers wear? Denim, denim, denim.
I love when I stop and talk to girls in the weight room and their boyfriend comes out of nowhere to stand beside them. It does boost my self-esteem a little but I would rather talk to one that is single for a change.
Viewing Comments 1 - 10 of 40
Your so called "yoga girl"
posted 2/12/09 @ 12:10 AM EST
Yeah, I'm the yoga girl, and they let people int here hundreds of times without they're cards. Ugh! Yall sicken me...
to yoga girl
posted 2/12/09 @ 9:31 AM EST
Yeah, that excuse is not going to fly. Just because they let people in doesn't make it right. How about just bringing your ID next time?
To the yoga incident
posted 2/12/09 @ 10:40 AM EST
...why on earth are you guys making such a big deal about whether or not someone brought their card? Okay, we get it, but other people have already said the same thing at least twice. (Continued…)
Queen of the Whores
posted 2/12/09 @ 12:16 PM EST
To the retard that wrote: For V-day, I don't want chocolate, roses or even a boyfriend. I would just like to get slammed up against a wall. Heyo!
When I first read this, I was like holy crap this girl wants to get raped. (Continued…)
hopalongsanchez
hopalong
posted 2/12/09 @ 2:28 PM EST
I have noone for valentines day.. :( any girls out there need a someone to call their valentine..? send me a email to take@achance.tk (its real) and ill send you my cell number (dont want to post it on here)
What
posted 2/12/09 @ 3:45 PM EST
What's up with everyone stealing lines from fmylife.com and publishing them as rants?
Lord have mercy on the idiots that go to ECU
posted 2/12/09 @ 4:37 PM EST
To the yoga idiot, you did spell they are and not their...how did you make it to college AND you need to take FULL responsibility of your own items and stop blaming people for your own lack in judgment. (Continued…)
Slammed against a wall
posted 2/12/09 @ 9:39 PM EST
I thought it was hilarious (apparently I'm the only girl who thinks so) and I didn't take it seriously at all.
Kudos to you, babe.
Pirate Rants Used to be funny
posted 2/13/09 @ 3:15 PM EST
now they only bring out the moral police, sexually repressed yet vocal, and the generally mind numbing idiots
Hmm
posted 2/13/09 @ 8:28 PM EST
Am I the only person here who's incredibly fed up with shallow and brain dead? This place resembles nothing else more than high school all over again. (Continued…)
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