East Carolinian

Issue date: 11/11/08 Section: Features

Media Credit: Nicholas Thigpen

Media Credit: Nicholas Thigpen

Dating. It can be exciting, awkward and so much more. The rules of dating are so complex that not even Merriam-Webster could come up with a concrete definition.

But, while various definitions to describe relationships and dating, change between generations and individuals, it is still a ritual practiced by almost everyone today.

While each person has their own specific preferences on what to look for in dating someone, some characteristics of a date-worthy person can involve physical appearance and personality.

However, ECU student Antwan Staley looks for a little more in his potential dates.

"How a person treats others is a big thing for me; you can always tell this when going to a restaurant when you think, 'How does she treat the server?'" said Staley. "Of course, intelligence is huge too, because you don't want to be with someone that can't carry on a conversation or someone who does not know what is going on in the world."

Traditional roles are even favored when asking for dates.

"I was raised in the South, and [was] always taught that a gentleman does the asking, but when asking [he] does it with proper manners," said student Trey Kriger.

However, the asking part doesn't always have to start with the guy. While the roles can be reversed, fear of being turned down is a reason that both male and female students do not ask out the opposite sex.

"You can never tell if they are interested in you or not, so being asked is easier," said student Megan Reavis.

But while traditional methods can be used for asking, the actual scene of the date has changed, according to some students. Opting out of the often traditional "dinner and a movie" night, many prefer to casually interact with one another to get a feel for someone's personality. For some, "hanging out" is the informal process of getting to know another person, while dating can be deemed more intimate and personal.

"Hanging out comes just before dating," said student Chelsea Reich. "You go out in groups, text or talk on the phone. For me, dating is one-on-one with the intentions of hopefully becoming serious."

Aside from the pre-date characteristics and the casual exploration of getting to know someone, what are the good, bad and ugly scenarios of dating?

Some ECU students describe their experiences, baring the details of good and bad dates they have been on.

For Staley, the worst kinds of dates are those set up by friends or relatives.

After being set up by his friend's girlfriend, Staley decided to take his date to a restaurant, where he found out they would be eating for two, plus one.

"My date was pregnant," Staley said, horrified that his friend's girlfriend would set him up with a girl expecting a baby. "My friend and me just looked at each other like, "Why would she set me up with a pregnant [female]?'"

Even the most obscure or non-traditional dates can be successful. This was true for ECU student Shemeh Shirbabadi.

"I went to the airport with the guy and watched planes take off," said Shirbabadi, who also divulges that while the physical date can be successful-there is one deal breaker.

"Any comment about sex between us on the first few dates [is a deal breaker]," she admits.

But even traditional dates are still classic for some. Students like Kristin Zaharis opt for the standard dinner date.

"[A recent date and I] went to Finelli's for dinner and dessert at Cold Stone," said Zaharis. "It was a perfect date and while I can't say that's why we continued dating, it was our first official date."



This writer can be contacted at features@theeastcarolininan.com.

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